Giving It Away

ALL WOMEN GIVE IT AWAY. Or, I should say, all caring, compassionate women give it away. However, how they give it away and to what extent varies greatly.

WHERE ARE YOU GIVING IT AWAY?
Relationships  
• Are you sometimes too passive? Tolerate too much? Deny a reality that is hurtful, harmful or generally unfulfilling?
• Are you getting what you need? Or do you generally feel unappreciated and that your needs come last (if at all)
• Does it seem like someone runs your life other than you?

Work (this includes stay-at-home moms too)  
• Do you overfunction? Do too much and stay so busy that you feel exhausted or lose sleep?
• Do you sometimes feel like you don’t get the credit you deserve? Or, you don’t feel fully respected for all you do?
• Have trouble delegating because it is easier just to do it yourself? Or, do the work of two or more people?

Life / Self   
• Are you taking care of yourself well? Balancing physical self-care with emotional and spiritual nourishment?
• Are you overweight or underweight? Do you take time to exercise regularly, eat a nutritious diet, get good sleep and enjoy downtime that’s just for you?
• Do you feel guilty when you indulge yourself ?

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
1) What exactly is “it”? What does it mean? What does it look like?
“It” is different for everyone.  It could mean your time, your energy, your power, your dreams and desires. It may be the freedom to do things you enjoy … honoring and exploring your true talents … feeling comfortable being uniquely you. Sometimes “it” means your voice or your self-respect. Sometimes, it refers to sex (that’s what people first think), but sex falls into Give Away territory when you lose your self-esteem or self-respect in the process.

A major problem in our society is that women are subtly and culturally expected and encouraged to self sacrifice, demure, and defer a lot. All can have damaging consequences. This blog is just to get you thinking about your own life, or the lives of the people you care about.

2) What’s a Give Away Girl?
A Give Away Girl self-sacrifices and cares for others to a detrimental degree. She’s a detrimental caretaker. She gives up her energy, power, ideas, time, contributions, wishes, dreams and desires and she either doesn’t know she’s doing it or she does, but does it anyway. Whenever any of us do that, it’s not good.

3) Aren’t you promoting selfishness?
Certainly not. Selfish people are just that, truly selfish. Give Away Girls do for and care wholeheartedly about others. It’s just that they neglect themselves. Let’s put it this way: The purpose here is to help women find ways to balance work and life, get their needs met, and to enjoy freedom and healthier relationships.

3 thoughts on “Giving It Away

  1. HELLO CHERILYNN, I ENJOYED YOUR BLOG!!!. WHAT A WONDERFUL WAY FOR SOME OF US CO-DEPENDANT CARETAKERS TO LEARN TO NOT BE MANIPULATED. I LIKED YOUR ARTICLES. THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR IDEAS OR SHOULD I SAY “IDEAL” THOUGHTS. YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED SO MUCH. I WLL LOOK FORWARD TO READING MORE. PFOSTER

    • Thanks for stopping by, Pat. The process of change begins with new awareness. Always good to hear your thoughts. Take care.

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